Martha Doctor

[nevermoreraven]

Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: Teen
DISCLAIMER: Again, Doctor/Martha isn't a thing.  (I still ship it, but I've got a lot more knowledge about writing healthy relationships than I did.)
Summary: Not the most cringiest, but not great.  Mostly archiving here.  The Doctor's having a nightmare about Martha leaving.

            Martha couldn't find the Doctor anywhere.

            She'd been wandering around the TARDIS for what seemed like hours now.  True, she'd gotten lost in the same corridors more than once and wandered around in circles for ages.  But even so, he wasn't normally this hard to find.  If they hadn't been in flight, she would've wondered whether he'd stepped outside.  ...although she wouldn't put it past him to absent-mindedly walk outside anyway.

            She was about to sit down and wait for him to come wandering and get her when she heard a half-smothered cry.

            Instantly she began running in the direction, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.  It cut out, so she had no idea which door was the right one.  She would've begun checking each and every door, but she didn't have to as a muffled moan issued from the door to her right.  She entered to see...the Doctor, for once asleep.  He was tangled up in the blankets, sweat having drenched the sheets and his body.  He groaned once more and made to escape from the cloth trapping him, but was too tightly wrapped to move much.  Swiftly she crossed to his side and hoped he was one of the few males she knew to sleep clothed.  Gently, she began extricating him from his prison of blankets, and, not awake, he flailed slightly, limbs going every which way.

           She'd finally gotten his top half free when he sat up, eyes wide in unconscious terror, and clutched at her with a dripping hand.

            "She's gone," he stated in a child's hurt tone.

            She felt her heart freeze.  "I know.  I'm sorry, Doctor."

            He shook his head, eyes welling up with tears.  "There's no way you could know," he stated clearly, looking straight at her, despite the fact that he wasn't really seeing her.  "It hasn't happened yet."

            Her mouth fell open, eyes widening slightly.  "Rose?" she asked cautiously, but he shook his head emphatically.

            "I'm driving her away," he muttered desperately, turning away.

            "Wha-"  Martha felt her heart jump, but yelled at it.  She shouldn't be listening to it anymore-he was an alien, and he'd never have feelings for her.

            "I thought it would be better," he mused, as if to himself, staring with eyes of sleep and sadness at the table by his bedside, the wet, salty tears not having escaped their prison yet.  "Better for everyone involved.  I don't...need someone to care about, and she...it's more for her," he explained softly, looking back up at her, blinking, trying desperately to smile.  "She needs to be away from me.  Everyone I go near, I...change them.  Destroy them.  I used to think it was for the better, but now I'm not so sure."  A low sob escaped him, and he looked away again, desperately, burying his face in his sleeves.  Muffled sounds escaped from the cloth.

            Martha honestly didn't want to do.  She felt as if she'd seen something she'd never been meant to, that she was intruding.  She'd never seen him this young, this broken.  "She'll never know how I feel, but that will be better, won't it, in the long run?"  He wasn't attempting to hide his tears any longer, looking at her like a child begging for an answer from an adult when the adults still had the power to solve all the world's problems.  "I mean, we'll both be miserable...at least, I am.  But...won't it make it easier for her to go back to her old life, if she doesn't think...I mean, if we don't have...if she thinks the worst of me?  And I mean...being cruel?  That's...that's the only thing I don't think I've been for more than a couple decades of my life...out of everything.  I've done a lot of bad things, and...it'd be easier, just to tell her, all my dirty little secrets, to drive her away, but...I don't want her to hate me hate me..."

 

something else-the Doctor is about to die, and so leaves a hologram for Martha.  He has to try MANY times to record it, and so has different sections from different things.  He's really honest, about the Time Lady thing, about the temptation she posed.